I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
ugly people sure do ruin things
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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