hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I would ride that face into the sunset
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
