we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
We need a shit load of segways right now
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize