Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
a search helicopter?!
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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