You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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