I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I could have mohawked her pubes.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
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