i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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