my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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