you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
