"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
