you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
