heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize