i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
