My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
