There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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