Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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