I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
