I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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