Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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