It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Randomize
