I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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