the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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