these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
No stitches, just platelets and will power
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
