i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
