she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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