Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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