So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize