lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
