your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
