Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize