I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
