Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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