This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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