i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
