he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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