While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
