I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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