Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
