You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
