her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
only you would photoshop your dick
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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