so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
