It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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