Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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