omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Actions speak louder than pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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