I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Dick very happy bro
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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