Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
My pussy is not your playground.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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