In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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