is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
