I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
