I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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