Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
We got so high we made milksteak
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Randomize
