He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
