He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize