Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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