She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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