u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
