So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
