best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
