I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
