found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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