just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
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Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
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Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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