he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
