You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
