he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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