you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
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