After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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