I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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