Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
one two three fourrrrnication!
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
