My room smells like vodka and shame
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
