she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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